One-sided conversations in a new relationship

How to break the pattern of one-sided conversations

Recently I received an email from a female client asking me for advice on how to break the pattern of one-sided conversations that had arisen in her new relationship with “that nice guy”. Her complaint? “He steers the conversation in the direction he wants it to go — towards himself!” My advice to her? That the only way to break this pattern is by (repeatedly) confronting him, honestly, openly and assertively with how she experiences this behaviour, how she feels at such moments, and what her unmet need is — what she’s not getting out of their interactions. I advised her to speak only in ‘I MESSAGES’, which is the essence of Non-Violent (Compassionate) Communication.

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Emotional self-care

On TED.com: psychologist advocates ’emotional hygiene’

In this insightful and inspiring talk, Manhattan-based psychologist Guy Winch movingly speaks of his extremely close emotional bond with his twin brother and how their separation, and his brother’s recent struggle with cancer (which proved successful), caused him deep psychological suffering. What has he learned – and what can we all learn – from this?

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